“Inconsiderate, it sounds just like me
then you pushed something out that looks just like me
I grabbed my little dude up, looked him in his eyes
if you can’t understand right now, I apologize
how could I not want you here, be that selfish
fuck was on my mind at the time, my bad, I couldn’t help it”
– Joe Budden
Sitting in silence, enamored at the machine showing her contractions. Her pain hurt me. God please let this go right; let this go smooth. God don’t let my words from the past haunt me in this moment. I’m crying inside as thoughts of the absolute worst rip my brain a part. I’m rebuking Satan from my mind, but it’s not Satan, it’s me. Her mother is there; my mother is there. Her father sat on the couch praying to the same God I was talking to. My father; absent…again. I promise I won’t be him God if you just let this go right; let this go smooth.
Her name is K. She’s yellow, she’s thick, and her checking account is healthy. She has way too many tattoos and her real shoulder length hair is covered up by a wig that I hate. She knows of me through this blog, talked to me on facebook, ran game on me over the phone, and met me in the parking lot of Oakland Mall. Green light.
In a recent conversation with my mother, which began off as her plea for grandchildren, she challenged me to ask myself why I feel some of the ways I do in my relationships with women. She instruted me to list 3 things I like in a woman, 3 things I don’t like for women to do, and concluding with some general relationship questions. Obviously, this wasn’t for this blog, as she knows nothing about it, so I’m still a bit curious as to what brought this up. Regardless, I like to analyze myself, so I was open to this personal character assessment…and I’ll share MOST of it with those who choose to read this (this is not the format in which I responded to moms)…
When I usually write an entry, I’m interested in your responses to what has happened, but this time, I’d like to know what you think will happen. I think I’ve become pretty good in assessing the likelihood of what will happen with any woman I deal with, but this young lady keeps me guessing. We recently came up with a plan to test the waters of our associate-ship, which could ultimately have results that neither of us expected…
In March of 2009, I wrote a blog titled, “White Girls, Am I Missing Something?” . Well two years later, not only had I still not engaged in some form of sexual intercourse with a Caucasian woman, but I’ve never even gone out with one…until this past week. As it would turn out, I picked the wrong white woman to meet up for lunch…
After finishing up my work on some websites this morning, I found myself strolling down the most recent post on my news feed. As usual, you have folks thanking God for another day, people mad about work/school, people complaining about haters, and all of the typical things you’ll find on an average day. Once I read too many stupid statuses from one person, I simply click the X by their stat, so I no longer have to read what they say. Today, I clicked the X…
In my opinion, women come in two good sexual types: proactive and reactive. Proactive women show up at your house naked in a jacket and some heels and tell you to give it to them on the spot (see Bumble Bee). Reactive women will do almost anything you ask, the problem is…you have to ask. If you’re a man who follows Drake motto, “pussy’s only pussy and I get it when I need it”, then reactive women may be the ladies for you. However, if sometimes you enjoy spontaneous sex like myself, a proactive woman is the only woman who can take you to that next level. I’ve only met 3 or 4 of them in my life, Britt is one of them…